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Oct. 6th, 2006 04:00 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
acresofhopeI can't sleep. No matter how much I try, I just can't do it. I'm trying to 'let it go' like people are telling me to do, remember that 'you are forgiven' so I can have peace enough to sleep. But there are some things forgiveness can't do. Forgiveness can't take away the pain of hurting your best friend, or the fact that he's not your best friend anymore. Forgiveness can't change the lies you've believed that got you there.
Lies. I'm tired of them, but they don't stop. Even now I hear them. "They don't care, they never did." "They didn't do this for you, they did this for them." "What made you think he'd ever love you, anyway." Well you know what? Fuck you, Satan. They do care, and they did exactly what they should have done. Yeah, it might hurt a whole freakin' lot, but it's what's best for me. They know that, and I know that. I can't believe I fell for all your shit. But they were just little lies, weren't they? Just one little lie at a time, and before I know it, I've taken it farther than I ever would have wanted. And I didn't even SEE IT! Thank God for people who aren't afraid to get up in my face!
Maybe I just sinned again, with the swearing and all, but I just wanted to be HONEST. I'm tired of LIES. I don't want to tell them anymore.
Maybe now that I've gotten that off my chest, I can finally get some sleep. Though I doubt it.
All Christ followers on my list, please pray I can forgive myself without losing the lesson I've learned.
Lies. I'm tired of them, but they don't stop. Even now I hear them. "They don't care, they never did." "They didn't do this for you, they did this for them." "What made you think he'd ever love you, anyway." Well you know what? Fuck you, Satan. They do care, and they did exactly what they should have done. Yeah, it might hurt a whole freakin' lot, but it's what's best for me. They know that, and I know that. I can't believe I fell for all your shit. But they were just little lies, weren't they? Just one little lie at a time, and before I know it, I've taken it farther than I ever would have wanted. And I didn't even SEE IT! Thank God for people who aren't afraid to get up in my face!
Maybe I just sinned again, with the swearing and all, but I just wanted to be HONEST. I'm tired of LIES. I don't want to tell them anymore.
Maybe now that I've gotten that off my chest, I can finally get some sleep. Though I doubt it.
All Christ followers on my list, please pray I can forgive myself without losing the lesson I've learned.
