acresofhope: (ever after princess)

A couple of days ago I picked up a copy of Breaking Free by Beth Moore. I actually had a copy before, that I think was given to me as a gift, but years ago my mother carelessly picked up the box that contained it and a few other treasured books and sent them to storage. Rather than spend weeks and weeks demanding that she had over a key so I can search through and find it, I just opted to spend the little money I had and get another copy.

Sacrifice number one.

Though it's not much of a sacrifice when I think about it. That money was just sitting in my pocket, and there's still a little left. I remember this book helping me a lot before, and I think it will again. She's not the most amazing author ever, but I read and I understand. What she explains isn't anything I don't already know, but it's reminding me of things I've forgotten. Things I shouldn't have forgotten.

Faith. Hope. Beauty. Abundance. Truth.

The truth sets you free. And I'm remembering.

acresofhope: (Jesus loves you)
I just got back from taking a nice soak in the tub, so I'm actually feeling decent right now. Which is good, because it means I have energy to post and something's been on my mind.

In case you don't want to read my religious stuff. )
acresofhope: (save myself)
Happy birthday to me...

Only not quite because...girl troubles.

I needed not to sleep the whole day but I kinda did.

Maybe I'll do something tomorrow.

But...my aunt actually called to tell me happy birthday. I didn't expect that. It made me feel good.
acresofhope: (this is war)
Dear body,

Stop hating me. I don't have the money to treat you better, but if you'd like me to, you have to cooperate with me first!

Sincerely,
Me

----------------

Anyway, I'm not feeling so good right now. No, I'm not sick, it's just I have to push myself to even get out of bed. I've been feeling really tired and sort of down the past few days. I don't like it. I'm sick of this.

So, yes. Fighting against myself, it seems. I've at least managed going out in public this month so that's good. Going to try again sometime this week. I want to go bit by bit until I get comfortable with it, then maybe take the next step and start attending church again. I'd like to be going at least one Sunday or Wednesday a month by December.

Leave encouragement. God knows I need it.
acresofhope: (all I am for you)
I've been having trouble writing lately, so out of the blue I decided that maybe instead of fiction, I should go back to poetry. It is, after all, how I started writing. Then I decided to look back over some of my old stuff, and wow. I wrote my last poem a week short of three years ago. That's amazing, and a little sad to me. It's something I should start doing again.

I did find one piece that stood out to me, written November 10, 2004. It both lifts me up and breaks me in two.

Dusk to Dawn

My dearest love,
I think of you this glorious night.
The stars sparkle like your eyes.
Moonlight illuminates my path,
as does your radiant face.
My heart rises with the sun,
it's warmth like your gentle embrace,
to shine on us today
and forever.



If you think that's about some random guy I had a crush on back then, it's not. I wrote that about my God, and I'd give anything to be in that mindset again.
acresofhope: (fries)
My head hurts. And I want fries.

On an unrelated note, [livejournal.com profile] rjchasez is liek the best evar.

That is all.
acresofhope: (dorkalicious)

Disney Princess Meme )

acresofhope: (clana - in your arms)
Updating, because I should start doing more of that. Consider it a baby step to getting on with my life.

To save you the drama if you'd rather avoid it. )
acresofhope: (v dream)
A certain someone on my friends list had a birthday today. This is me hoping it was a good one.

Not so good with the updating, but given who she is, I made a point to say something.

Happy birthday, Lyn. It's a minute too late for me, but it's still before midnight there so it counts!
acresofhope: (mystic sisters)
MY SIS WILL BE HOME IN A COUPLE OF DAYS!

I also made a playlist for myself on playlist.com. I call it my "IT'S ON!" list. All of them are by Superchick, and they all pump me up and make me actually want to do something with my life. Like try to conquer my fears and live and have hope and faith that I can accomplish something if I just keep trying. Posting it for you guys. [livejournal.com profile] rjchasez, I DEMAND YOU LISTEN, JERK!

IT'S ON! )
acresofhope: (dino group)
LJ? You fail.

And just when I thought I might start paying for you. Tsk tsk. SO MUCH FOR THAT!
acresofhope: (worship)

My hands hold safely to my dreams
Clutching tightly not one has fallen
So many years I've shaped each one
Reflecting my heart showing who I am
Now you're asking me to show
What I'm holding oh so tightly
Can't open my hands can't let go
Does it matter?
Should I show you?
Can't you let me go?

Surrender, surrender you whisper gently
You say I will be free
I know but can't you see?
My dreams are me
My dreams are me

You say you have a plan for me
And that you want the best for my life
Told me the world had yet to see
What you can do with one
That's committed to Your calling
I know of course what I should do
That I can't hold these dreams forever
If I give them now to You
Will You take them away forever?
Or can I dream again?

Surrender, surrender you whisper gently
You say I will be free
I know but can't you see?
My dreams are me
My dreams are me

Surrender, surrender you whisper gently
You say I will be free
I know but can't you see?
My dreams are me
My dreams are me

Surrender

acresofhope: (dino group)
I feel like I'm dying. It's just a cough and I'm exaggerating, but I'd really like to stop now. Thing is, I know it's just that my body's trying to get the freakin' mucus out of my lungs, but it's getting stuck somewhere and I can't spit it out or blow it out my nose. Yeah, I know, gross, so did not need to know that. Yeah, well, you do.

In other news, I went to church last week. Not this week because I'm so much more sick now and kind of overslept, but last Sunday night was one of the best nights I've had in a while. It started with me crying on the floor and ended with me walking out the door with my head held high and a smile on my face. That's a long story for tomorrow when I'm not extremely tired but still up because my cough is keeping me awake.

This coming Sunday, I will be going to church no matter how my health is, though I hope it's better by then. I don't want to cough all over everybody.

Oh, and I got this cute little nightgown with Tinkerbell on it. I feel all girly and ridiculous, but I love this thing.
acresofhope: (kira pain)
I was nudged (on LJ, though I am also updating my IJ at the same time; yay technology), so I'm updating.

There really isn't much to say. This past year has been really hard for me. I've barely left the house. I guess my parents splitting up has been harder on me than I thought. At first I was glad my mom moved out, but now...I realize I've almost locked myself in the house since she left. I don't know what's up with that. I try to go out sometimes...but then I don't. Just for groceries.

Thank you to those of you who've been praying for me. I know there's at least one. How you knew what to pray for I can only explain by supernatural means.

Mainly I've been roleplaying. I learn a lot from my characters, especially Kira Ford, but I can't seem to apply any of it. I can only ask for more prayer.

I'm lost. I want to be found again.

Edit: Oh, and I'm voting for Tommy Oliver this year. Yes you read that right.
acresofhope: (Default)
I'm kind of ticked off right now. Details later.

Wow...

May. 14th, 2008 06:01 pm
acresofhope: (chloe I can heal you)

Prayer time on The 700 Club: who knew it could actually help? I think those "word of knowledge" things they talk about are really real. Pat Robertson of all people talked about someone with great fear (actually more than one), who was afraid to leave the house. He rebuked a spirit of fear and asked for a sense of peace...and I think it might have worked. On Sunday I'm going to try to go back to church. If When I get there, I'm going to tell Sally what happened.

This little occurance has restored my faith enough to ask for some prayer, for myself and for another.

Prayer )

too much

May. 5th, 2008 05:37 pm
acresofhope: (kira power up)
I bought a hair color remover kit to get all the black-ish color out and now my hair is partially Willow red. I say partially because apparently I have too much hair for one kit. So now it's like...Willow with spots of dark!Willow. So I'm going to get another kit, finish my color removal, then dye close but not quite to the original color. Yay me?

Also, lots of people saying how awesome their Wii is? Not liking it. I don't have one and I am so jealous.
acresofhope: (chloe ugh)
*feels like crap*
acresofhope: (kira power up)
Wow, I just had the best sleep I've had in a while. For the past week or so I've been waking up every few hours, but this time I slept straight through the night. THE NIGHT! As in I didn't do the vampire thing I usually do. I have seen the sun and it is bright! I wonder if I'll catch fire when I go out.

In addition to the last RP I mentioned, I also joined Angel Grove, a pan-fandom RP set in the Power Rangers universe, post-Zordon. I grabbed up Chloe Sullivan, because it's so hard to find an RP without her. I also have Kira Ford, who I love. She's a little reminiscent of Kimberly from the first few seasons, which I guess is the reason for the fanon of them being related, but she's still very much her own character. She's anything but a valley girl, except for this one time with a meteor rock (ZING!), but I think they have the same kind of spirit.

Anyway, if there's a character you like who seems to be always taken, think about joining Angel Grove. Yes, I know, Power Rangers, but I doubt it's going to be at all like the shows.

On a side note...I'm not sure how much I like the Chloe in the Destination: Eternity RP. It's probably just because I'm anal about capitalization and all that, but we haven't gotten to the third person part yet. Still, I think Chloe would use proper capitalization if she were commenting on something like a blog or forum. It's her nature as a writer, and I say that as a writer myself.

I've found that I really like roleplaying and writing Lana. Yes, I know, "Lanaughgrrbarf," but I really do. And everybody has told me how much they like my Lana. Actually, they like my interpretation of all my characters. I think other than the comments about Lana, the best compliment I've had is how much they like my Clark, and "it's so hard to find a good one!"

Anyway, speaking of Lana, I have some writing to work on. Comment at will.

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