some funny quotes
Jan. 9th, 2006 12:40 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
acresofhopeFound various places.
"Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much."
"I used to have an open mind, but my brains kept falling out."
"When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded."
"Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't."
"An consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing."
"When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets."
"If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side."
"Where there's a will, there are five hundred relatives."
"Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die."
"I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode."
"My Reality Check bounced."
"Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young."
"You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter."
"Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your kids."
And the best one of all:
"A zebra does not change its spots." - former Vice President Al Gore
"Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much."
"I used to have an open mind, but my brains kept falling out."
"When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded."
"Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't."
"An consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing."
"When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets."
"If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side."
"Where there's a will, there are five hundred relatives."
"Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die."
"I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode."
"My Reality Check bounced."
"Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young."
"You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter."
"Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your kids."
And the best one of all:
"A zebra does not change its spots." - former Vice President Al Gore
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no subject
Date: 2006-01-09 06:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-09 08:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-10 01:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-10 04:35 am (UTC)That's either based off of one of the Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (as said on Star Trek: Deep Space Nine) or amazingly close: "Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the heck out of your enemies."