more from me

The movie was great, and I'm glad I watched it. I have to say, I absolutely adore Allen Menken. His work on The Little Mermaid, Aladdin and other such Disney films is fabulous!

I'm also very fond of my newest icon. It was really inspired by a line in A Cinderella Story (that's Hilary Duff's eye, recolored), which was a quotation of a poem by Alfred Lord Tennyson. I intend on actually reading the poem, but right now, I need sleep.

And maybe another listen at one of Allen Menken's Mermaid songs!

I'm still up

Remind me not to ever watch The Little Mermaid before bed ever again, unless I intend on staying up a good bit of the night. Those songs fill me with so much energy, and something else I still can't quite put my finger on. I'll figure it out someday.

But instead of reading poetry by Alfred Lord Tennyson, I'm reading ahead of John Piper in Romans. Might as well, because he doesn't go over everything. If he did, I don't think he'd ever get anywhere. Not that it's a bad thing, but if you haven't noticed, the Bible is thousands of pages long!

Thank you, Captain Obvious!

Anyway, I just read the last of Romans 6, starting with verse fifteen, then on to all of chapter seven. Some of it is kind of confusing. Like verse thirteen. The Apostle Paul's talking about the law, which is good, but causes the sin living in you to want to rebel. He explains it much better than I do, so read it if you want a better understanding. Then, verse thirteen (New American Standard):

Therefore did that which is good become a cause of death for me? May it never be! Rather it was sin, in order that it might be shown to be sin by effecting my death through that which is good, so that through the commandment sin would become utterly sinful.

Well, I am utterly confused. *scratches head* I think I know what he means, but I can't think of a way to express what I think. If you understand this, explain it to me.

Now the next little section (Romans 7:14-25), I do understand, because I say, "DUDE, I know exactly how you feel!" I'll be typing all of this out from the NIV.

We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do-this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God-through Jesus Christ our Lord!

Now I know there is much more to this, because there are many chapters after this one, but I identify with this so much. I think all Christians do. I think all people do, to some extent. There are things you know are wrong, that you don't want to do, and yet, you keep doing it. That is how sin is, and sin lives in the flesh of every human being. Luckily, there is a Rescuer. I just wonder if you've let Him rescue you yet. Please do. You won't regret it.

(no subject)

So I didn't find anything good job wise in the paper today, which means I'm going God knows where tomorrow. My fear is that I'll have to work in a restaurant. Not that I think restaurant work is low, I'm just going to try to lose some weight and I don't think it'd help. I want to work in a book store. I think I'll check the grocery stores after that. It'd be nice to work at Ingles, considering I'd get a discount or something. They carry my choice brand of tea, and I think are the only non-health food store around here that does. After that, maybe I'll apply to Wal-Mart or Target. If I can't get a job any of those places, I'll go for the restaurant work, no matter how much I don't want to. Got to start somewhere. If I go six months and hate it, I'll apply someplace else, because then I'll have job experience and will be more likely to be hired.

I don't know what else to say. What is there to say? How do you forgive yourself and let something go without feeling insensitive to the people you hurt? Is this just another trap? I feel like I don't know anything anymore.