(no subject)
Oct. 6th, 2006 02:11 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
acresofhopeFirst, I'd like to say:
IN YOUR FACE, DEVIL!
Yeah, nobody knows what that's about but me, but that's fine.
Sorry about the previous entry. I should really learn not to get on LJ when I'm upset and sleep depraved. I'm not deleting it though. That's the most real I've been with myself and other people in a long time...without going into details.
On the 'fun' side of this island (sorry, I've watched Madagascar too many times), God spoke to me a lot yesterday, and has been saying some of the same things today. It's time for me to stop living in a fantasy world of play-acting and start actually living life. So guess what? I'm going to look in the want ads on Sunday, and look for a job. A real job, and not just a one night a month job.
Speaking of which, cleaning up after hundreds of women is hard work! I can't find the Icy Hot to tend to my sore arm. Definitely deserving of seven dollars an hour! I mean...OW!
But I'll be honest: I'm scared. I'm scared I'm going to mess this up like I seem to do everything else. I'm going to have to take lots of prayer breaks, but I have to believe I can do this. I have to believe I can be a functional adult in society.
Some good news, though: I can actually laugh a little at my favorite movies now. Last night, nothing was funny. There's still plenty that's not, but then, I should have listened to my former best friend when he said to run away.
God, help me.
PS -- If any of my silent friends are reading: thank you. You're doing the right thing.
IN YOUR FACE, DEVIL!
Yeah, nobody knows what that's about but me, but that's fine.
Sorry about the previous entry. I should really learn not to get on LJ when I'm upset and sleep depraved. I'm not deleting it though. That's the most real I've been with myself and other people in a long time...without going into details.
On the 'fun' side of this island (sorry, I've watched Madagascar too many times), God spoke to me a lot yesterday, and has been saying some of the same things today. It's time for me to stop living in a fantasy world of play-acting and start actually living life. So guess what? I'm going to look in the want ads on Sunday, and look for a job. A real job, and not just a one night a month job.
Speaking of which, cleaning up after hundreds of women is hard work! I can't find the Icy Hot to tend to my sore arm. Definitely deserving of seven dollars an hour! I mean...OW!
But I'll be honest: I'm scared. I'm scared I'm going to mess this up like I seem to do everything else. I'm going to have to take lots of prayer breaks, but I have to believe I can do this. I have to believe I can be a functional adult in society.
Some good news, though: I can actually laugh a little at my favorite movies now. Last night, nothing was funny. There's still plenty that's not, but then, I should have listened to my former best friend when he said to run away.
God, help me.
PS -- If any of my silent friends are reading: thank you. You're doing the right thing.
