acresofhope (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
acresofhope) wrote2005-03-10 02:52 am
acresofhope) wrote2005-03-10 02:52 am
so much on my mind
The foremost thing on my mind is a conversation I just had with my friend Jonathan. Please pray for him, as he's going through something difficult right now. I have a heavy heart for him right now, so I will probably be praying as long as I am still awake. So, although I'm sure he needs all the pray he can get right now...pray that I'll get some sleep, too.
Aside from that, there are so many other things on my mind, and I'm not sure if I will be able to express it all clearly. May God help me.
Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters; and you who have no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost. Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the riches of fare. -- Isaiah 55:1-2
This Scripture means so much to me, and in so many ways. First and foremost, I am beginning to realize the spiritual starvation I have been putting myself through the past year or so. As I pour Living Water onto my heart and soul, I realize what a desert I am on the inside. For the first time in a long while, I thirst for Him. No...For the first time in a long while, I am aware of my thirst. It's like Ladd has told me about avoiding sleep: there is a point when you're really sleepy and have to struggle to stay awake, but after that it's easy to stay awake as long as you don't get comfortable. Well...enough avoiding it. I need His rest already.
I've also decided something...well, not radical really...but I'm sure it could be considered that way. I've decided not to wear make-up anymore, or at least not foundation for now. I need a little time before I can get rid of the mascara, and the gloss will stay, because the kind I use is very moisturizing. But no more buying more than I need (In case you didn't know, I'm a lip gloss addict.) I'm still trying to decide about the hair color thing, because I love being a redhead...but something tells me that's going to end quite soon as well. I've been too hung up on my outer beauty in the past few years, something I never thought I would do. If anything, I should be striving to make the inside beautiful!
Then, there's the fact of actual food...which I eat too much of. It would be so easy to blame the Baptist church for being so big on food, but it's really not their fault. I've had a problem with food since I can remember. I try to fill the hole inside myself with food, which isn't gonna cut it. The only place that's gotten me is fat and at risk for a number of diseases that I know aren't God's will for me. It's time to be free from this slavery. It will be a hard road, but I have to feast on "the richest of fare," and remember the name God has given me...remember that we can get through this.
Church was great tonight. Some of the songs we sang have a whole new meaning to me now. But I won't get into that right now.
I'll leave with a prayer and (hopefully) get to sleep soon.
Daddy...You are teaching me so about You right now, and about who You made me to be. All I can think to ask is to just show me more. And for Jonathan: make Your presence known. I have no idea what is going on, but I know You do. Show him the way. Give him the strength to keep his eyes focused on You at all times.
You are so awesome, I can't put it into words. The hardest thing is not being able to wrap my arms around You and hold You tight. I love You so much. Thank You...for everything...
Aside from that, there are so many other things on my mind, and I'm not sure if I will be able to express it all clearly. May God help me.
Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters; and you who have no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost. Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the riches of fare. -- Isaiah 55:1-2
This Scripture means so much to me, and in so many ways. First and foremost, I am beginning to realize the spiritual starvation I have been putting myself through the past year or so. As I pour Living Water onto my heart and soul, I realize what a desert I am on the inside. For the first time in a long while, I thirst for Him. No...For the first time in a long while, I am aware of my thirst. It's like Ladd has told me about avoiding sleep: there is a point when you're really sleepy and have to struggle to stay awake, but after that it's easy to stay awake as long as you don't get comfortable. Well...enough avoiding it. I need His rest already.
I've also decided something...well, not radical really...but I'm sure it could be considered that way. I've decided not to wear make-up anymore, or at least not foundation for now. I need a little time before I can get rid of the mascara, and the gloss will stay, because the kind I use is very moisturizing. But no more buying more than I need (In case you didn't know, I'm a lip gloss addict.) I'm still trying to decide about the hair color thing, because I love being a redhead...but something tells me that's going to end quite soon as well. I've been too hung up on my outer beauty in the past few years, something I never thought I would do. If anything, I should be striving to make the inside beautiful!
Then, there's the fact of actual food...which I eat too much of. It would be so easy to blame the Baptist church for being so big on food, but it's really not their fault. I've had a problem with food since I can remember. I try to fill the hole inside myself with food, which isn't gonna cut it. The only place that's gotten me is fat and at risk for a number of diseases that I know aren't God's will for me. It's time to be free from this slavery. It will be a hard road, but I have to feast on "the richest of fare," and remember the name God has given me...remember that we can get through this.
Church was great tonight. Some of the songs we sang have a whole new meaning to me now. But I won't get into that right now.
I'll leave with a prayer and (hopefully) get to sleep soon.
Daddy...You are teaching me so about You right now, and about who You made me to be. All I can think to ask is to just show me more. And for Jonathan: make Your presence known. I have no idea what is going on, but I know You do. Show him the way. Give him the strength to keep his eyes focused on You at all times.
You are so awesome, I can't put it into words. The hardest thing is not being able to wrap my arms around You and hold You tight. I love You so much. Thank You...for everything...
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*big hugs*
Let me know if there's anything I could do for ya (besides prayer)!!!
*another hug*
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Don't forget to pray for Jonathan too!
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I know the food thing is a struggle for me. I figure one of these days I'll get my head one straight and get this mess figured out.
Thanks for sharing.
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