another sleepless night

It's really funny. Even when I'm not writing here, it's somewhere else. Another blog, or a random notebook. I just think too much. Yeah, I know, everyone is always thinking. But not like this. This is active thinking. The kind that keeps you up at night. Like tonight. As I type, the clock on the computer reads 4:05 am, although it's probably about ten minutes later than that. My computer is dumb that way.

I keep thinking about all my friends I haven't seen enough of this summer. Jonathan probably the first one to come to mind, since I haven't seen him at all...and as much as I hate to admit it, it drives me crazy. *is slightly annoyed* I saw Saint once. Also miss him a lot. *is even more annoyed* I just got a message from Hannah the other day on myspace. Haven't seen her all summer either. Just saw Janae (and I know I probably spelled her name wrong) at church a few Wednesdays ago. Haven't seen Kevan since who knows when. Zoe either. And even though Lauren and John have been here in Spartanburg, I just haven't gotten the time with them I would have liked. And oh man, I miss Rach like crazy! There are so many other people I could name, I'm sure, but then I'd really be up all night.

I know hardly anyone who reads this knows who any of the above people are, with the exception of a few. I don't talk about a lot of them very often, but I love them so much! I couldn't say who I'm more excited about seeing again...well, ok, Hannah and Jonathan. But I am excited about seeing them all! I just can't wait until summer's finally over!

Well...I should really try and get some sleep. If not, I'll just grab a notebook and journal.

Belief

In my opinion, Christians today have one, or really, both of two problems. They tend to be tied to one another.

We believe too much in our own ablities.

A lot of us tend to believe that we can live much of our lives on our own. We go about our business, and only when life becomes too hard to we ask God to inhabit our activities. And sometimes we don't even then. "I can do it myself," we say. Point is we can do nothing without Him.

We don't believe enough in the power that lives within us.

I know I have been going through some struggles as of late, and I did the above. I tried to fight temptation on my own. And I failed. Failed miserably. Only when I remember that the power of God, the power that raised Jesus from the dead, lives inside me do I claim and accomplish victory over the temptation that comes my way.

The following is an excerpt from Beth Moore's Praying God's Word.

Believing God is never more critical than when we have strongholds that need to be demolished. Believing God is also rarely more challenging. Why? Because we've battled most of our strongholds for years and perhaps tried countless remedies in an effort to be free with very little success. The enemy taunts us with whispers like, "You'll never be free. You've tried a hundred times. you go back every time. You're hopeless. You're weak. Your'e a failure. You don't have what it takes." Every one of these statements about you is a lie if you are a believer in Christ. You do have what it takes. You have Jesus--the Way, the Truth, and the Life. But you can't just believe in Him to be free from your stronghold. You must believe Him. Believe He can do what He says He can do. Believe you can do what He says you can do. Believe He is who He says He is. And believe you are who He says you are.

Don't assume that just because I challenge you with all this that I have it all together. Trust me, I'm preaching more to myself than anyone. But what kind of sister would I be to God's children if I kept this to myself?