acresofhope: (dino group)
I feel like I'm dying. It's just a cough and I'm exaggerating, but I'd really like to stop now. Thing is, I know it's just that my body's trying to get the freakin' mucus out of my lungs, but it's getting stuck somewhere and I can't spit it out or blow it out my nose. Yeah, I know, gross, so did not need to know that. Yeah, well, you do.

In other news, I went to church last week. Not this week because I'm so much more sick now and kind of overslept, but last Sunday night was one of the best nights I've had in a while. It started with me crying on the floor and ended with me walking out the door with my head held high and a smile on my face. That's a long story for tomorrow when I'm not extremely tired but still up because my cough is keeping me awake.

This coming Sunday, I will be going to church no matter how my health is, though I hope it's better by then. I don't want to cough all over everybody.

Oh, and I got this cute little nightgown with Tinkerbell on it. I feel all girly and ridiculous, but I love this thing.
acresofhope: (chloe ugh)
*feels like crap*
acresofhope: (lift my eyes to heaven)
Guess what? I have a subconjunctival hemorrhage, which is just a really long and nerdy way to say I have a broken blood vessel in my eye and it looks all bloody. From what I deduct after reading over the information, it must have happened yesterday while I was vomiting. Not serious. I'll just look really scary for a few weeks.

It does appear, however, that I could have high blood pressure. I say it's because of one of two things: a) my weight or b) the fact that this has been the first time I've gone back without my mom. Yeah, I don't go to the doctor that much. Anyway, they gave me a prescription, which I want OFF right now! Sorry, but I just hate medication, even something for a headache. So this means weight loss, proper exercise, reducing sodium, blah blah. Well, actually, there isn't really a "blah blah". I mean, I don't smoke, and I don't want meds if I don't need them.

And, um...that's all. Good day!
acresofhope: (terra)
So one minute I'm laughing to myself about how I'm apparently in love with my toaster (thanks [livejournal.com profile] star_sign), the next minute I'm throwing up everything I've eaten today.

Apparently, I have a gag vomit reflex. Yay for Campbell's Cream of Broccoli Soup.
acresofhope: (now you know)
For me, Thanksgiving starts on a Wednesday at 6 PM. That's when the annual Thanksgiving College Gathering begins. They're thinking of renaming it, since the people who have already graduated college keep coming back. We usually have it at the student minister's house, but this week, because of the rain, we moved it to the student ministry building. It was a wonderful time, as always. I made s'more bars that quickly disappeared, so I'll consider them a success.

I seriously think I look forward to this gathering more than any other thing in the year, even Christmas and the holiday time with my nuclear family. Not that my parents and siblings aren't precious, but they are almost always around me. There are so many from my spiritual family that I only see at this time of year. There is one person in particular that comes to mind. I don't know what it is, but he holds some special place in my heart. I can't describe it. I hope to see him Sunday, but if not, I'm thankful for the few minutes that we got to talk.

I'm, of course, missing some people this year too. My sister is overseas and my brother Jeff is in Oklahoma. A guy from my high school class is in the hospital after stepping on a land mine (or whatever they're calling them now). There are so many I could mention that I miss, but...I'll just say I miss those whose names are written on my heart. Some of them know, some of them don't, but I miss them all the same.

But things weren't all smiles and giggles today. Nope. My mom got mad because I asked to go to the doctor in front of my grandma. As if I did it on purpose to make my grandma feel sorry for me and make her mad at my mother. The world isn't out to get you, Mom. Accept it and get over it.

And now...sleep.
acresofhope: (the eyes)
Well, a few days ago I talked about something that made me really happy, and now, I will tell you what is was. Which is why the subject of this post is the rest of the lyric from A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes. All of it wouldn't fit in the last subject. Neat how that worked out.

I listened to part one and two of "But I Say to You, Love Your Enemies". Somehow, no matter the subject he's teaching on, this guy ends up going back to the gospel. To him, it's central to everything and to take your eyes off grace for a moment is setting yourself up for disobedience.

But I'm getting off track.

The very first word of the Sermon on the Mount—and this is no mistake—is, "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." We don't enter the kingdom of heaven because of the moral resources that we bring; we enter by confessing with tears our poverty of spirit.

In Mark 10:15 Jesus said, "Truly I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it at all." It is a gift to the poor in spirit who are broken and childlike and have no airs of self-sufficiency.

In Mark 2:17 Jesus said, "It is not those who are healthy who need a physician, but those who are sick; I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners." We enter the kingdom poor in spirit, helpless as a child, sick and in need of a spiritual physician.

This is what Jesus was doing when he ate with tax collectors and sinners—he was pursuing the poor and the helpless and the sick. And the self-sufficient murmured, "This man receives sinners and eats with them" (Luke 15:2). And when they said that, Jesus told them the parable of the prodigal son. And the point was: I don't eat with sinners because I like sin. I eat with sinners because I am the love of God welcoming home poor, helpless, diseased sinners—forgiving them, cleansing them, making them new, and sending them out to love in the power of God.

Which is why he could say to the priests and elders in Matthew 21:31, "Truly I say to you that the tax-gatherers and harlots are going into the kingdom of God before you."

How can this be: sinners and harlots going into the kingdom of God? The bottom line answer Jesus gave: "The Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many" (Mark 10:45). He came to die for them—for us.


I was sitting there, listening to his words (which are only summarized in the transcript) and getting excited, especially the parts about being sick and "prostitutes go into the kingdom of God before you." (Matt 21:31 ESV) Now I was never a prostitute, but I was close enough to it to identify with that. I was so excited that I jumped up out of my seat and was like "Me! That's me!"

As soon as I did it, I realized how crazy I must have looked. How odd is it to say "Yay, I'm a sick whore!" I mean, I'm certainly not happy that I have all these issues or that I'm so bent to let Him down. I guess the part I'm happy about is that I know He has forgiven me, and I know He has, in one sense, cleansed me, and in another sense, is still cleansing me and making me new.

I guess that's the whole point of the sermon though, isn't it? Jesus loved His enemies. How can you claim to follow someone like that, who is perfect and has every right to hate His enemies, and not love your own enemies? Sounds pretty impossible to me. Maybe it'd be a gradual thing, but you'd love your enemies.

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