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I just got back from taking a nice soak in the tub, so I'm actually feeling decent right now. Which is good, because it means I have energy to post and something's been on my mind.

I get a lot of emails from Christian websites, stuff I signed up for, but honestly I usually skip them unless the subject interests me. I feel crappy about that, but anyway. I happened to actually open one today, because it seemed like something that would really help me right now. It was about prayer.

Here's what I don't get: why do people talk like prayer is just a means to push their agenda along? They started off talking about romantic relationships, pointing out how foreign prayer is sometimes, like when you're first establishing something with someone. And I thought, awesome, exactly. But then it took a swerve. That was basically it on the relational point. By the end of it, they were talking about "effective prayer" and how awesome and powerful it is. Well yeah, it is, and it's great when amazing things happen. I've had a few miracles myself. But if that's how people look at prayer, it's no wonder it's so hard! That's not the reason to pray!

You know why I'm having a hard time praying? It's the relational part of it, because that's what it is. I know I don't talk to Him anymore, and I haven't for a long time, and that's what's intimidating about it. How do people reduce it to a business transaction? I don't mean it in a condemning way, not at all. I'd be less terrified about it if I could do that, but then it wouldn't even be worth it, which goes back to the previous point about why people find it so hard to pray to begin with.

I'm just putting my thoughts down, guys. Obviously I'm not a saint. I just admitted I don't pray a lot, so I don't think any less of you if you don't, or even if you're one of the people who are all about the business transaction. I just don't understand the mindset is all, not from a Christian perspective. I'm sorry if I offended or hurt anyone.

hugs :)

Date: 2009-10-23 04:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ex-airehen.livejournal.com
Yes, it can be hard to "feel" relational in prayer. But the point is not about what we feel because the relationship is there whether we feel it or not. We can relate ourselves to Him and He relates Himself to us.

I know I don't pray as much as I should, and I do want to do more - to do better. Yet sometimes, I think it's just as important to have that longing to do better as much as the actions that show the improvement.

Set out to make improvements and then work on it, building up, a little at a time. I think sometimes when we try to do it all at once is when it comes off insincere or like a transaction.
***

Also, about your earlier post, about church attendance and Christian fellowship. The more you stay away, the harder it is to go back, but being a part of a church fellowship is very important to the health of our Christian walk. (I know myself from experience.)

I heard an illustration on the radio recently that certainly fits:

A coal that stays within the burning fire of a fireplace remains hot.
A coal that is removed from the fire loses its warmth and grows cold to the point of practically losing its spark.

We as Christians need to stay close to a group of other believers for support both in our spiritual life and our earthly life.

So hang in there sis - keeping seeking after Him.

<3

Date: 2009-10-24 07:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] acresofhope.livejournal.com
It's not so much the feeling it part I don't understand as much as the thinking it. I read things about prayer and wonder if people think they're just putting tokens in a slot machine instead of actually talking to a real Person.


Right now I'm focusing on just getting out in public more often. I think if I get used to being out there and around people in general again, maybe it'll be easier to make that step to go to the place I really want to go.

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